I love great quotes :)

"To run and work the law commands, but gives us neither feet nor hands. But better news the gospel brings, it bids us fly and gives us wings."

~John Berridge

Questions #1

I've been thinking about the balance (or lack thereof) that I manage to achieve in my life. Last week I wrote about some of the things I do and don't do, and since then I've been thinking about how I should be deciding what I use my time for. Alot of my decisions have been made without alot of thought and I thought it might be helpful for me to think a bit more clearly about what I'm doing, especially with a new year looming.

I've been thinking about how I can know whether or not I'm doing "enough" for my family... what things should I be looking for to let me know I've got the balance right (or wrong?).

I'm realising that the Bible itself isn't terribly prescriptive about exactly what a person in my situation should be acheiving. Actually it isn't very "acheivement" focussed, as far as I can tell. Maybe it will help if I think about the different things I'm resposnsible for on the home front and look at what I should be doing according to the Bible, and think about how I'll know if that's happening.

I'm just going to think about my responsibilities to my kids tonight because I'm so tired and I can't get blogger to save a draft!


I'll jot down my thoughts.... feel free to disagree or add your own ideas :)

I need to teach them about God (eg Deuteronomy 6:7), love them (Titus 2:4, if I need a reason!) and teach them to be obedient (Ephesians 6:1). It's interesting to me that the Bible doesn't say my job is to make them happy or confident which seems to be what alot of people want for their kids (not that I don't want it, YKWIM).

So the questions I should probably be asking myself are
* Do I have time to teach my kids about God?
* Do I have time and energy to make learning about God interesting?
* Do I have the mental energy and time to answer their questions, or am I too busy thinking about other things to engage with them properly?
* Am I loving my children, or am I so busy that their needs irritate me?
* Do my kids feel loved? Do I have time and energy to do the things that matter to them (eg JoJo having her hair done in 4 plaits, which often feels like about 4 plaits too many to me!).
* Do my kids seem loved and cared for to other people? This feels important to me, but I'm not sure if it should be.
* Do I have the patience to discipline my kids without getting angry and frustrated? Am I making it hard for them to be obedient by taking them to too many "things" so that they are getting tired and cranky?


There's alot of other stuff I'd like to do with or for my kids, but I'm thinking the things listed above should be my highest priorities. I can see I've got some work to do! Better get to bed :)

Balancing Act

I've been thoroughly enjoying reading Jean's blog lately... she's been talking about some of the issues Christian women encounter trying to balance the different demands of life, which I've found challenging and encouraging.

In a recent post she asked people to share their thoughts on balancing "ministry" (or "doing things for God" as I prefer to call it ;) ) inside and outside the home and I thought rather than just commenting on her blog I might as well get a blog post out of it myself!


Some random thoughts on the topic:

* It's important to realise that everything families do is going to involve costs and benefits - it's not just "ministry" that makes demands on families. Every family makes sacrifices for the things they regard as important (eg kids doing more household chores because both parents are working, financial restricitons to make sure the kids have music lessons, waking up early to get little Johnny to cricket on Saturday morning). For me it's important that the sacrifices my family makes are for the things God thinks are important. I feel a bit concerned that people will think some of the decisions my family is making are asking too much of my kids so I need to remind myself that every family makes sacrifices... they're just different kinds of sacrifices for different things.

* Another thing I've been thinking about is the tension I feel between letting kids feel the cost of having God's priorities - because there IS a cost, the Bible is clear about that - and my instinct as a parent to try to protect my kids and shield them from anything difficult. Being a Christian isn't easy; alot of the things the Bible says seem downright wierd, if not completely stupid to the rest of the world and it's a really hard thing to be thought of as a wierd or stupid person. If I want my kids to grow up with a real faith in Jesus I need to prepare them for the "cost" part of being a Christian.

* There are so many ways to do things for God that I'm only limited by my own imagination and flexibility - there will always be more opportunities than I can possibly hope to take up, so the challenge is to find the ones that will have greatest benefit without too much cost to my family. I don't really feel very limited by my small children ... I just need to think outside the box a bit to find heaps of worthwhile things ways to serve God.

* Something I've realised is that if my family is going to make sacrifices to do what God wants us to, I can't expect my family to also make sacrifices for too many other things (eg my hobbies, my slackness or disorganisation). For me this means I don't get nearly as much time as I'd like to to do the various crafty things I'd love to do, and I've had to make a rule for myself that the computer doesn't go on while the kids are awake.

* I think that the parents (not the kids) should cop the brunt of the "making sacrifices" part of serving God. One hard thing for Jeremy is that this means he hardly has any leisure time and one hard thing for me is that we never get time to do any maintenance around the house or garden.

How it looks for me / my family at the moment:

Non-negotiables:
* Aim to have time to read stories, play games, talk, sing, tickle, chase and generally enjoy my kids every day.
* Aim to be home for a midday rest for everyone.
* Prioritise my relationship with Jeremy - I figure if our marriage isn't strong then everything else will fall apart.

I do:

* Make meals for people
* Mind other peoples' kids
* Get my house ready for a bible study every week
* Stay awake for said bible study even though I'm usually exhausted
* Try to have a rest on the afternoon of the bible study so I'm not completely exhausted (obviously this is only semi-successful!)
* Help my husband make plans to study theology full time next year
* Try to read the Bible and pray every day
* Ring my sick Grandma and visit her as often as possible
* Try to be cheerful when I have to get up at the crack of dawn every morning with my kids
* Go to church every week
* Teach the toddler Sunday school class 1/3 of the year

I don't:
* Go to my mothers' group anymore because playgroup at church is on the same morning and I think it's more worthwhile
* Go to the womens' bible study at church because my kids get really distressed when I leave them in the creche
* Iron our clothes (I do wash them though!)
* Visit many people without kids because I'm worried my kids will ransack their houses. I want to work on that one though
* Get as much time as I'd like to do things with Jeremy, or with our family of 4
* Have people over as often as I think we should
* Care for the people in our Bible study group very well (eg with emails, phone calls, socialising)

So there you go, there's some thoughts on the topic, and how it looks (in part) for us at the moment. There's obviously alot of room for improvement, and we're about to enter the impoverished world of student life next year, so that will be a new challenge... I'll have to see how we go with that!

Anyone have any thoughts to add? I'll keep thinking about this and post again soon.